Wow. I forgot about this.
Re-reading that last post made me think about some things I haven't thought about in a really long time. I'm back at Beloit, and it's comfortable. I like the Women's Center. I like the parties and the bubble and the familiarity and even some of the people. And even if I didn't, here I am.
I don't actually have that much to say. I have absolutely no idea what happens next, but at least now I know that that's a good thing.
I've started getting up early, like 7:30 am even though my earliest class doesn't start until 10. Today I made tea and toast and did yoga and went for a (very) short run. I like running. I want to do it more. This could be a routine. I want to get in shape before I go to Hawaii.
Oh yeah, I'm going to be WWOOFing in Hawaii over Christmas break. If you don't know what WWOOF is, go here. I'm going to be living and working on an organic farm and meditation center where every day starts at 8 am with swimming, surfing, and chanting. I'm ready to live some real life and be with the earth for a while. And I'm proud of myself for not giving in to the pressure to go back to New Jersey. I don't need that shit.
But first, first I have to make it through the semester. Tomorrow is my first day teaching poetry and performing arts classes at the Hendricks Education Center here in Beloit, an alternative high school for kids who couldn't handle the public school for whatever reason. I'm excited to see what kind of words get written and said. Then in two weeks I'm going back to Chicago for a few days. I'd go for the whole week but I need to stay here to keep up with the class at Hendricks.
For all the pain and frustration, the difficulty of giving up the Beloit mindset (the sound of a turd dropping into a river) while still living here and work and work and work on trusting that change is not only possible but inevitable, and fear that it won't come and ....well, I'd say I'm doing just fine.
Hey, you, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Who knows where I'll be next year?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Hmmm...Blog
It's about time I did something with this, isn't it?
Today has been a day of speculation. I'm thinking about just not leaving Chicago. Really. I paid my first bill today. I'm feeling more adult by the second. The option was pay the bill or have my phone service suspended.
But seriously, I could leave my entire life behind right now and start a new one here. I could start looking for places, or live on-campus at Columbia for a semester, meeting people. I could go to Amsterdam tomorrow and spend all my money on hookers and blow. I am so young.
I could go to LA.
I could go to New York.
I don't really want to go to any of those other places, not just yet. I'm settling in here quite nicely.
It does get lonely, though, sometimes. It could. I need more friends.
Oh god, I'm looking at apartments on craigslist. I don't even have a job. Yet. If I get this housecleaning gig that could change.
That's right, Chicago, get ready. Cynthia Spencer will clean your house for you. All you have to do is pay her adequately and treat her nice.
I really really want this. It's hard, wanting something like this which is so scary, which was so not a part of the game plan. What if Columbia won't give me any money?
If I go back to Beloit, even for a semester, will I lose momentum? Will I lose track of the few contacts I've made here? Will I get lulled back into that safety net, that illusion of security?
None of that is real.
And there's a cheap 2br in Ukrainian Village right by Carly's place, like on the same street. Who will take the second bedroom?
At moments like these, the entire universe seems to collapse in on itself and I can't even really believe what I'm contemplating.
I can just move to Chicago? Just, like, do it?
I'm already here. I already did. It's just a matter of staying.
Jesus Christ, I'm going in circles.
Today has been a day of speculation. I'm thinking about just not leaving Chicago. Really. I paid my first bill today. I'm feeling more adult by the second. The option was pay the bill or have my phone service suspended.
But seriously, I could leave my entire life behind right now and start a new one here. I could start looking for places, or live on-campus at Columbia for a semester, meeting people. I could go to Amsterdam tomorrow and spend all my money on hookers and blow. I am so young.
I could go to LA.
I could go to New York.
I don't really want to go to any of those other places, not just yet. I'm settling in here quite nicely.
It does get lonely, though, sometimes. It could. I need more friends.
Oh god, I'm looking at apartments on craigslist. I don't even have a job. Yet. If I get this housecleaning gig that could change.
That's right, Chicago, get ready. Cynthia Spencer will clean your house for you. All you have to do is pay her adequately and treat her nice.
I really really want this. It's hard, wanting something like this which is so scary, which was so not a part of the game plan. What if Columbia won't give me any money?
If I go back to Beloit, even for a semester, will I lose momentum? Will I lose track of the few contacts I've made here? Will I get lulled back into that safety net, that illusion of security?
None of that is real.
And there's a cheap 2br in Ukrainian Village right by Carly's place, like on the same street. Who will take the second bedroom?
At moments like these, the entire universe seems to collapse in on itself and I can't even really believe what I'm contemplating.
I can just move to Chicago? Just, like, do it?
I'm already here. I already did. It's just a matter of staying.
Jesus Christ, I'm going in circles.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Hint Fiction
I discovered something very cool today that someone apparently only just named, though it's been around for quite a while: Hint Fiction. Anyone heard of Hemingway's famous six-word story? "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." That's hint fiction, cause all you get is a hint, get it? I love this, and I think it's becoming especially relevant with the rise of our mobile culture and shortening of the collective attention span.
In the same vein, Folded Word Press, an online lit mag that once published a poem of mine (not to brag or anything, but I've got almost a thousand views), is now publishing poems and stories under 140 characters via Twitter. I think this is a novel idea. I know, I know, typically I'm lamenting the collapse of the English language due to venues such as this which force us to write (and therefore think) in short, simple phrases, but I really think this puts a delightful spin on the idea. Yes. Do something creative with it!
As you'll see if you visit the Hint Fiction page, I submitted the last few lines of one of my shorter poems as well as a couple of lines I just wrote today (I thought of it at the time as a seed for a story, turns out it could be a story itself).
Does this make me lazy? Am I just unwilling to put the time and energy into fully developing this story seed, feeding it, watering it, caring for it? Is that why I'm so excited about the opportunity to present the world with just a tiny kernel of literature?
I don't think so. The form certainly does require a bit of messing around, figuring out how to fit as much information into as few words as possible. Look at that Hemingway bit above -- do you think that was easy? No. Not at all. It's an immense challenge to develop characters and relationships within twenty-five words. Seriously. Try it now. It's fun. Put what you come up with in the comments
Cynthia
P.S. Also, I found this in the Related Videos for my poem, and I find it really hilarious.
That is all.
In the same vein, Folded Word Press, an online lit mag that once published a poem of mine (not to brag or anything, but I've got almost a thousand views), is now publishing poems and stories under 140 characters via Twitter. I think this is a novel idea. I know, I know, typically I'm lamenting the collapse of the English language due to venues such as this which force us to write (and therefore think) in short, simple phrases, but I really think this puts a delightful spin on the idea. Yes. Do something creative with it!
As you'll see if you visit the Hint Fiction page, I submitted the last few lines of one of my shorter poems as well as a couple of lines I just wrote today (I thought of it at the time as a seed for a story, turns out it could be a story itself).
Does this make me lazy? Am I just unwilling to put the time and energy into fully developing this story seed, feeding it, watering it, caring for it? Is that why I'm so excited about the opportunity to present the world with just a tiny kernel of literature?
I don't think so. The form certainly does require a bit of messing around, figuring out how to fit as much information into as few words as possible. Look at that Hemingway bit above -- do you think that was easy? No. Not at all. It's an immense challenge to develop characters and relationships within twenty-five words. Seriously. Try it now. It's fun. Put what you come up with in the comments
Cynthia
P.S. Also, I found this in the Related Videos for my poem, and I find it really hilarious.
That is all.
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